My creative lesson 48 — Standing naked
29 November, 2020
This carob tree stands in a wild area along the Israel trail hiking route. The tree is quite close to my home and I have walked past it maybe a 1001 times already.
I know about the carob tree but have never actually considered taking a photo of it. It is just part of my hiking-trail background. Little did I know that I would learn a serious creative lesson from this tree.
I was looking forward to the 52Frames nature challenge for a long time but when it finally came to actually shooting something, I had nothing.
Nothing for NATURE!!
The hiking trails in nature near our apartment have saved me during this corona year. It has not only become my happy place but also my comfort place.
When the girls and my husband got on my nerves, I went for a walk.
When the walls started to close in on me, I went for a walk.
When I wanted to meet up with a friend, we went for a walk.
Then I actually had to take a photo of nature for my photo group and I had nothing. No inspiration, no ideas and no desire to even take a photo.
Isn’t it strange how that happens? Why is one 100% involved in a project sometimes and other times it is just… bleh? I sometimes wish that my brain chemicals would be a bit constant and not let me feel blue the one day and happy the next. For no apparent reason.
I didn’t feel bleh enough to quit my commitment to take a photo every week though. (Remember complete, don’t compete.) So when I took another walk in the area and finally noticed the tree. My subconscious said heyyy and I quickly took a cell phone photo of the carob tree.
It was actually a bit a surprise to finally see the carob tree so clearly. It is usually covered from the ground upwards with tall growing grasses and weeds. In the summertime the tree’s foliage is also much denser.
The long hot summer has however done its work and the grasses and weeds have lost their vitality and height. The carob tree is an evergreen tree but in times of drought it will shed some of its leaves to prevent water loss. As seen in this photo.
The tree became naked and more vulnerable but finally I got to see it properly. I never noticed that it bends slightly towards the left, or that its tree canopy has this inverted U-shape.
The more I looked at this photo of the carob tree, the more I realized how handsome it is and how beautifully it blends together with its surroundings. The harsh conditions may have forced it to become exposed but they also made the tree show its real strength and beauty.
Slowly the words of Brené Brown about vulnerability and someone’s observation that artists should be more like Bruce Springsteen, started to make sense to me. Springsteen always puts himself out there, with no filters hiding the raw emotion in his songs.
This corona year has ripped away many layers for me. The long empty days and all those walks have forced me to look deeper inside than ever. I had to think about who Marina Shemesh really is. What I really want to be about and what I am doing to actually become this person.
Learning more about yourself can be like a revelation, and a sort of catharsis. Something along the lines of “oh, that is who I am supposed to be” and “this is what I want to do in life”.
Putting this out in the world though is another story. It is scary to be vulnerable in front of everyone. However, the carob tree’s lesson seemed seared into my soul.
If you really want yourself and the world to know who you are, you have to remove all the filters and stand naked.
One of the ways that I am doing that is by writing these lessons about creativity every week. As the year passed along, I feel that the lessons became more and more personal. I am often hesitant to post and share these personal experiences but I know that if I want to grow as a writer and artist I HAVE to do it.
There are other creative avenues that I want to explore and I will probably look like an amateur and an idiot but I will just keep the carob tree’s lesson in my mind.
Leaf by falling leaf.
I belong to this photo group called 52Frames where we have to take a photo and upload it every week. (It is 100% free to join but take note that the deadlines are strict.) Plodding along every week getting my weekly photo has taught me a lot about creativity. My other creative endeavors are writing words, writing code and messing around with drawings and fiber art.
Here are a few of my other lessons about creativity that I have learnt this year:
Creative lesson 45 — Seeing the signs
My creative lesson 46 — I am a photographer
My creative lesson 47 — Accidents happen… or don’t they?
